Curiouser and Curiouser...

Recently I've had two rather extraordinary experiences. That is to say, experiences that are more extraordinary than the ones that already occur in this Opera House. Incidentally, Carlotta still has not yet thought that I might be the one to blame for her embarassing display of Public Itching last month. It is rather satisfying to know that one can be above suspicion in such situations, though the diva's sulking and abusive treatment of the girls has recently been getting out of hand again. Perhaps I should chance another subtle act of ... discipline.

Anyhow, returning to the matter at hand. Imagine my surprise when I entered my office one day to find a sack of garments for dry-cleaning from our Resident Ghost. Well, that in and of itself is not so extraordinary, but what did make me drop my cane in shock was the fact that when I opened the bag I was greeted by Erik's clothes - all dyed bright PINK! Even the black-edged note that accompanied the parcel with instructions to have the clothing cleaned posthaste was smudged with carnation pink fingerprints. I can only imagine that perhaps one of the man's insane chemistry experiments backfired on him with such spectacular results. I do hope that for the drycleaner's sake, he will be able to expunge these blemishes from Erik's much-beloved dress clothes.

As to the other incident, as if it weren't bad enough that blonde-haired imposter with an awful faux French accent and a laughably puny excuse for a dancemistress' cane appeared on the scene a few years ago, now I hear that there are rumblings of another pretender to my identity coming to light. Apparently Lord D'Arcy is in negotiations for his new 'opera' with this counterfeit creature, who is rumored to be of dubious repute and even worse, has a daughter named Meg who dresses and acts like some gypsy tramp.

Such blasphemy will not go unpunished!

Settling Old Debts

It has now nearly been a month and a half since the infamous New Year's Masquerade and I have heard barely a peep from our Resident Ghost.

I wonder if he rememebers that he still owes me 375 Euros for the Red Death costume drycleaning services (plus ten percent for the trouble it took on my part to haul that massive outfit to and from his preferred cleaner's shop, which of course is not exactly conveniently located). I shall have to pin a note to Ayesha's collar next time I catch her scurrying about - which she seems to be doing with increased frequency these days; no doubt part of some devious, if perhaps eccentric, scheme of Erik's.

La Carlotta has been particularly troublesome so far this season; screeching at the ballet girls during rehearsals, occupying the width of the entire hallway as she parades through the Opera with her servile entourage, and imperiously demanding all sorts of favors and privileges for her fans from the attendant boxkeeper - which of course would be yours truly.

It is common knowledge that she has planned a lavish dinner with Signore Piangi this evening at La Maison Blanche (she had to book their reservations 8 months ago), in celebration of this irritatingly amorous holiday. I do hope my old friend Marcel, who is ever discreet and works in the kitchen there, will remember to add the 'special ingredient' that I suggested for our diva's entree.

I do hope that Piangi is not averse to the discomfort of scrutiny that is bound to occur when one's dinner companion suddenly, and with increasing frequency, begins to scratch at themselves all over.

For once I'm thankful for Meg's finely-tuned ear for Opera gossip. No wonder Carlotta doesn't want anyone to know about her allergy to asparagus.

Monkey Business

When coming to collect Meg from the dormatories today I overheard the chiming strains of a familiar tune and opened the door to find Meg on the floor fiddling with Erik's precious monkey music box! Barely hearing Meg's babbling, protesting explanation as to how it came into her posession - something to do with the Masquerade party - I marched her and the the percussive primate down to Erik's lair in short order and made her apologize to him for having abducted it in such a fashion, and furthermore for allowing it to be damaged by Little Jammes.

Although our resident Ghost appeared pleased to see his furry friend again, I must say that I was rather shocked by his appearance. Normally quite meticulous in attire, he seemed bedraggled and unkempt; clothes wrinkled and mask slightly askew. I presumed that it had something to do with Christine's reported liason with this 'Gerik' fellow, and I commented to that effect.

At the mention of that encounter, Meg piped up and related what had happened afterwards. This seemed to cheer Erik up considerably, dispelling his bleak attitude and prompting him to crack open a can of Red Bull, down the whole thing, then rush to his pipe organ and pound out a joyous, albeit dissonant, melody. Sensing he was going to be lost in another one of his compositional frenzies, which only someone with little regard for their health would dare to interrupt, we quietly took our leave.

I took special care to check Meg's person for any souvenirs she might have attempted to spirit away with her.

Aftermath

*massages temples* New Year's at the Opera was, as you may have been able to discern from Meg's surruptitiously-filmed video of my unfortunate intoxication, well, madness! I haven't quite figured out how to remove this visual documentary from my blog, but I'm sure that Meg will remember well not to attempt such a childish prank again; her sentence will be to polish the Ballet Foyer foor every night for a week after rehearsals.

Curiously enough the next day I noticed that Erik's extravagant Red Death costume had been left hanging in my office with a note from the man himself requesting that I take it to be drycleaned. The garment fairly reeked of Eau de Alcohol. I'd never known our Ghost to partake in spirits so much (then again, I thought the same of myself prior to the party), but I duly complied with his request. The cleaning bill on that is going to be extortionate, I fear.

It wasn't until later that I learned there were TWO Red Deaths in attendance at the Masquerade... and apparently the newly arrived version was seen, shall we say, fraternizing, with Christine Daae.

This cannot bode well ...

Maman at the Masquerade

I know she'll probably kill me for this, but I don't care! It was totally worth it! Happy New Year! - Meg

Let's Get Ready to Revel!

Well, I'm up a bit late tonight (or is that this morning?) in preparation for the Opera company's New Year's Eve Fete. Much to the Ballet Corps' dismay there will still be rehearsal as usual as a punative measure for their lacklustre performances of late before they I will permit them to disperse to prepare for the occasion.

I had to take Meg to task earlier this evening when she showed me what she had planned to wear to the party; a scanadalously low-cut white costume with fluffy feathers around the bustline. Now, while I am sure the young men in the company, and quite possibly the not-so-young-men, would have highly approved of such attire, I made it clear in no uncertain terms that she would find something more suitable to wear or I would relieve her of her credit card and her computer; which, to her, are as essential to life as water and air.

The mutinous glare she gave me and the fact that later on I overheard her asking one of the other girls if she could borrow a digital camcorder makes me wonder perhaps if she is devising retribution...

Back From Britannia

After a rather invigorating, if gloomy-weathered week in London, I have returned. The convention was quite exciting, with a wide variety of lectures and seminars to choose from, ranging from 'Reinventing Third Position' to 'Pilates On Pointe'.

My contribution to the event was organizing and presiding over the 'Classic Canesmanship' workshop. Most of the attendees had difficulty with the size and weight of the examples I provided, even though they were generally lighter than my own. One young woman from Germany even sprained her wrist. I must say despite that they were overall a rather disappointing bunch with little in the way of discipline required to master the fine art of wielding a dancemistress' cane. Pity. They might have tried harder had they seen how I dealt with the presumptuous young flight attendant who tried to relieve me of my cane. I daresay she won't be giving seat belt and oxygen mask demonstrations any time soon.

I did manage to find some time to stop at Harrod's and buy Christmas presents for Meg and Erik. For my daughter I selected a dainty rhinestone tiara for her to wear to the Masquerade Ball. For our cantankerous Phantom, I purchased a set of rose-shaped silver cufflinks. Oh, and for that pampered Siamese cat I picked out a collar charm in the shape of a mousetrap.

I do wonder how Meg and her reluctant babysitter have fared during my absence. The Opera hasn't burned to the ground, I see, so that's a good start. The chandelier is still hanging from the Auditorium ceiling, another encouraging sign. The hallways aren't running with blood... oh wait, that's one of Meg's little stories about the Opera Ghost.

Well, it's time for me to begin the long descent to the Fifth Cellar and see if things are as peaceful down below.